Thursday, February 18, 2016

Be your best self

Now I will freely admit that I've been guilty of looking at other people and going, "man I wish I had her life." I really never expected some one to say that about me. Well, my mom has a time or two, but I tend to throw that in with the whole being my mom bit. 

The thing about envying other people's life is that, you only ever see what they show you. My life is far from glamorous. I left a very financially comfortable position to struggle every day to do something that I love. I work hard just to make the basic needs to keep myself fed, clothed and sheltered. I don't keep normal hours, I can work 100 hours in a week and not make a dollar. You don't see the nights that I am so filled with worry about making my rent that I'm curled in a ball desperately looking over my possessions for something to sell. You don't see the meals I cut in half to make go further. You don't see me waking at 7am and not getting to bed until after midnight, then up again at 5 in order to keep costumes on track, work the day job, and go to classes. 

You do not see what struggles and demons a person fights every day, but I'll admit that I fell into this too. When I left the well paying job and began the struggle to make my costume business grow, I looked to some successful women around me as inspiration. But when after a few weeks my savings was getting smaller and I was just getting by, I didn't understand what I was doing wrong. I looked at these successful women and said, "Why is my road so much harder?" 

It took one of my mentors to point out that I'm comparing myself to the finished product, not the starting model. This person I was comparing myself to started in a similar spot, she built her business, but she doesn't just do one business either. She has side jobs too. I needn't be embarrassed by needing help, we all do. And I can't compare myself to an end product, I'm just beginning. 

The bottom line is don't try to live up to an idea of what some one else is, You don't know what shit it took to get their grass so green.